You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
