My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
