i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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