He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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