Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
