I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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