North Korea, Best Korea!
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
