You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Sponge bath it is.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
