I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
