Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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