ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
