I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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