i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
