he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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