My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
