There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Green mimosas i think yes
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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