yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
