Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
