You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So vagazzling was a success
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
