hotel room ftw
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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