How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
