I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
