Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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