It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
