I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
