those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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