Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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