drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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