So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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