trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
