i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
wow bdsm is so cute
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
