The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
