he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
