Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
