Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
