you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
