I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
