and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Watching her eat just hurts me
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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