just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
