I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
