dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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