so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
