I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
