Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
