he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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