In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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