I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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