Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
