in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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