Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
